Meanderings...
After almost twenty years of trying to find my voice, I am once again confronted by a blank page. Ever since I can remember I have possessed a penchant for keeping my thoughts, emotions, and ideas about the world within the safe confines of my head where they remain unassailable, free from judgment, speculation, and ridicule. My big sister once observed that “one of the greatest struggles that arises from being a human being (besides living and loving) is loneliness. Loneliness does not always have to do with the number of people around; more profoundly, it comes from the connections one can (or cannot) make from one's experiences to the experiences of others.”
Some time ago however, I realized that I am not content just to be alive; rather I desire to live and to do so deliberately. And so, here I am, putting my thoughts, ideas, and experiences out there for the world to read that I might overcome alexithymia. In doing so, I hope to gain a clearer understanding of myself by sharing and partaking in the cathartic effects of language. –AB
Saturday, June 7, 2008
1000 Grains of Rice
This continued for some time--Catherine and Sophia would intermittently come into the kitchen to ask me how to spell words such as, "puckish" meaning: mischievous; "lyophilize" meaning: to freeze or to dry; "meshuga" meaning: crazy etc. etc. etc. They kept this up for well over an hour. "What are Sophia and Catherine doing?" I asked my mom as I entered the dining room and plopped down in a chair next to where mom was folding clothes. "They're taking an online spelling bee" she said. "Why?" I asked. "Well there's a website sponsored by a world hunger organization that pledges to donate 20 grains of rice to a food bank for starving individuals for every word that participants in the spelling bee spell correctly." "How long have they been on the computer spelling words?" I asked. My mom looked at me and grinned, "Well over an hour and a half" she said. "When they found out that they could feed people by spelling words correctly, they decided to spell words until they could donate 1000 grains of rice a day." "Why 1000 grains of rice?" I asked. "Well," my mom began, "they figured that they could feed about 2 kids per day. I also told them that this would be a good amount because prior to that they were trying to feed the whole world." I laughed to myself as I thought about my little sisters sitting in front of the computer screen for hours in an effort to help feed hungry people around the world. A little while later Sophia and Catherine emerged from Andrew's room where they were using the computer at his desk. "How did we do?" mom asked. "We got 1020 grains of rice today" Sophia said as she and Catherine took seats around the dining room table. "How many people does that feed again mom?" Catherine inquired as she placed her chin in her tiny palm. "Um, about two or three kids" mom replied. "Moothie," Catherine said looking at Sophia. "Let's do it again tomorrow!"

1 comment:
your sisters are adorable!
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