Meanderings...
After almost twenty years of trying to find my voice, I am once again confronted by a blank page. Ever since I can remember I have possessed a penchant for keeping my thoughts, emotions, and ideas about the world within the safe confines of my head where they remain unassailable, free from judgment, speculation, and ridicule. My big sister once observed that “one of the greatest struggles that arises from being a human being (besides living and loving) is loneliness. Loneliness does not always have to do with the number of people around; more profoundly, it comes from the connections one can (or cannot) make from one's experiences to the experiences of others.”
Some time ago however, I realized that I am not content just to be alive; rather I desire to live and to do so deliberately. And so, here I am, putting my thoughts, ideas, and experiences out there for the world to read that I might overcome alexithymia. In doing so, I hope to gain a clearer understanding of myself by sharing and partaking in the cathartic effects of language. –AB
Friday, September 5, 2008
A Letter to Dorian
That article was fantastic. It's encouraging to hear that people outside of the U.S. are also inspired by this movement and are rallying around Senator Obama. Today was a crazy day, and when I say "crazy," I mean it in the best possible sense of the term... I had an organizational meeting tonight in Forsyth, GA which is a small city located about 35 minutes north of Macon. Forsyth is located in Monroe county which is one of the most conservative counties in the state. Its gone red for decades and some say that it's impossible for Obama to win the county come November. I'm organizing the entire region and as impossible as it seems for a historically republican county to go blue come November, I know that we can do it if we work hard enough.
Tonight was exciting especially coming off of yesterday which was a really tough day. Yesterday I planned for an organizational meeting and confirmed 12 people to attend, however only 2 people showed up. But then I figure: it's better to have two motivated individuals versus a room full of folks who'll end up doing nothing once the tingling feelings of excitement dissipate as they walk out of my life to face a society that is doing everything within its power to resist the change that is going to come.
This evening I drove 45 minutes north to rural Forsyth, GA where I was having an organizational meeting in the basement of a church. I spent the past week building for this meeting and wasn't sure whether or not people would actually come; I left a lot of messages but was only expecting about 8-12 confirmed individuals. Dorian, I kid you not: 10 minutes after I started talking people began pouring into the room. As I talked to folks about the fierce urgency of the moment in which we are all living, they just kept walking through the door. I spoke with honesty and conviction about why I'm here and I challenged them to remember what they have at stake in the outcome of this election. So many of us have so much at stake...it's almost too overwhelming to think about.
So often I hear people talking about the Civil Rights era with nostalgia; they talk about what a dynamic time it was to be alive. But then I remind them that not everyone was marching with Medgar Evers in Mississippi, or participating in the Montgomery bus boycotts, or organizing the Greensboro Sit Ins. I've come to realize that both then and now there are really three kinds of people; there are cynics who don't believe that change is possible; there are those who support change, yet who are content to sit on the sidelines (kinda like those people who say to me, "I'm voting for Obama but that's about it"); and then there are those individuals who are the feet of the movement. The last type of individual is so rare; and yet I have faith that they are still out there.
Tonight was awesome because there we were, 47 people in the basement of a church, planning voter registration events, phone banks, and deciding which housing projects we're gonna walk through and which grocery stores we're going to stand outside of with clipboards and registration forms. Most of the people there tonight were older people--middle aged or retired. I'll never forget the desperation in some of the womens' eyes who came up to me and said, "baby we got to do this." One man said to me that he never thought that he would see in his lifetime what happened in Forsyth tonight; he never thought that people in Forsyth, GA could come together to fight for something so much greater than any single one of us.
This moment has taught so many of us to hope as we have never dared to hope before. It's an awesome time to be alive! While a part of me misses you guys and Amherst, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now. Hahaha, it's funny to hear myself say that...Macon, GA of all places! Who would have thought?? But I take comfort in the fact that this is where God wants me and I am seeing people inspired, and communities transformed before my eyes. I feel so blessed to be part of this movement. So, so blessed :)
Amanda
P.S. I've attached some pics :)

3 comments:
One of the greatest struggles is lonliness- hey anime buddy, check out Neon Genesis Evangelion! Woo! Anime!
Hey! Your blog is super awesome, fun to read, and truly inspiring. I am really jealous that you are the feet of change and I feel an ever-present guilt about neglecting that duty that I too feel inside. However, I'm going to Ecuador in September and plan on devoting my whole life to progressive change, so I don't feel too bad. But I can't help but feel like you're doing something really awesome and really necessary and particularly effective at a critical historical crossroad. Uber-kudos!
Because I've so enjoyed your blog and your awesomeness, I hope you enjoy my feedback.
As an unofficial representative of Amherst, we couldn't be more proud. I love the individual inspiration and community transformation! Keep up the good work.
YAAAYYY!! you did it!
I can't believe I haven't looked at your blog in a week! But definitely great stuff. :) just like always...
D
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